Friends. Real ones.

The happenings in my life in the last few weeks have been really interesting to explore and analyze. It’s been more than a year since I left mitt favoritt land but I kept living this dream of mine and thus it feels I actually never left. Is it possible to hold on to something that long? Or is it something more than a strong connection?
Since my earliest childhood years I have had this feeling of not belonging to the environment where I was born and raised up. I remember my difficult high school years where the first thing my peers would associate when thinking about me was “weirdness”. And then throughout my university studies where I was again considered rather unorthodox and a bit eccentric so to say. This feeling of being relocated from my “original” homeland has kept alive ever since.
No wonder I have very few (if none, actually) good friends here where I am. I don’t fit here. I don’t fit in every possible way – friends-wise, job-wise, love-wise and sometimes even family-wise. The concept of a friend here is so different from how I see it. Fortunately, I have very few people so dear to my heart, so that whenever I think of them, my heart smiles and I get this instant desire to see them and talk to them. They may be not that available and I may not speak or chat with them every day, but I know they reside in my heart. And they know who they are, no need to brag about that here now.
The biggest revelations I have had recently are the shapes that my friendships with two extraordinary persons have taken. I met them both at approximately the same time and started hanging out with them more or less regularly. We did share some insightful and incredible moments, and we kept this beautiful aura of our friendships until recently. I guess the physical distance has made its own imprint here. A few months ago, after few disappointing episodes I kind of distanced myself from the one of them and now, I think I will need to do the same with the other one. I think I am sometimes too naive to believe that other people do really have good intentions and do actually mean what they are saying, without hidden agendas. Personally, I have never been into this type of people but I may have sacrificed my own higher self for not hurting the others. I strongly believe there is no greater feeling than the one you have when you really know the truth, when you have been really honest to yourself and the others, and furthermore, when you have expressed your truest and sincerest feelings to the others. A friend will understand your sadness and also will understand your happiness. A friend will not compete with you in any area whatsoever. And a friend will tell you in the face if you have done something wrong, without going around the bush.
My friends, first and foremost, do not brag about themselves and do not think they are the smartest, the wisest, the best friends one could have. They also don’t show-off around with their friendships or other kinds of relationships. I may learn an important lesson here as I do want to say how happy I am with my friends and close people around me and that sometimes ruins the beauty and the mystery of the relationship itself.
Can I imagine myself being more serene, resilient and self-assertive?
I think I will have to.